kneel_infidel (kneel_infidel) wrote,

"It's beef tongue, you know"

Three weeks ago, my esteemed friend Stephan Aaron Cavin, his girlfriend, and myself were standing on one of the many concrete ramps at the tiger stadium. We were on our the back end of our break and were expected back at our posts within the hour. I had already placed the sabotaged cup on a level above us and hoped for a successful trap. Aaron took note that I hadn't shaved in a week and asked me if I was growing it out. I was only being lazy but I remarked sarcastically that I wasn't going to shave until next year.

" that'll happen"
"You don't think I can make it"
"Fuck no"
"Want to put some money on it!?"
"Yeah I bet you a dollar"
"Good as mine fucker!"

And thus I've embarked on this venture in which not only my pride but monetary value is at stake. While this may come as a shock to some of you I am not yet capable of growing a full beard. No, there is a large area where no hair grows so I do look rather silly but I do not care. It's scraggly and gross. BUT a dollar is a dollar. Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that despite I have cut all of my hair off I still look like a hobo.  While my brother abhors that I can grow any hair in a ridiculously stupid complex, my father who is quite capable  and has declared he too will not shave until I have which is not all that fun for either my mother or girlfriend.

Yesterday, my mom was driving through the neighborhood and a bus was stopped at a stop sign. It wasn't a four way stop so my momma just kept on trucking down the street. As she pulled into the driveway she realized that the bus driver was following her. The driver stopped the bus in front of our house and opens to door so she can scream at my mom. She starts to yell that she was letting kids off the bus despite not having the lights or sign nor a child for that matter in the street. My mom tells her she was sorry but there was no reason for her to belive that children were getting off the bus. So my mom walked into the house and the woman wrote down her license plate and will probably ticket her.

Also.. it was 6:10 a.m.... I'm awaken by my mother's shouts to wake up because we have a huge problem. I wake up and walk into the hall as my mother who is wrapped in a towel shouts that the faucet in our shower has broken off. I peer into the bathroom to see a geyser of water spraying out of wall. It kind of reminded me of the scene in A nightmare from Elm Street when all of the blood sprays out of the bed on to the ceiling. I walk over and stick my finger into the pipe to see if it would stop the water as I've seen in the movies. It did. My mom and I walk out into the cold and after intial struggles manage to turn the water off to the house. After proper inspection, we figure out that it is easily fixable so we each enjoy a nice hot cup of coffee as we wait for Lowes to open. An hour later. It is fixed. and we turn the water back on to find not only is the faucet fixed but also we have managed to fix the leak that floods my parents room evertime someone takes a shower longer than 4 minutes.

I've been reading Naked Lunch. wow. It's pretty intense.
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