kneel_infidel (kneel_infidel) wrote,

"Fuck Ray, We gon' move on to the next person, shoo"

In the many many months I've been employed at Cactus I have never been yelled at or chewed out which is something very few of my coworkers can brag. For instance, I came in to work an hour and forty-five minutes late and refused to answer any of their calls. When they asked me what happened my answer was a shrug and they laughed. I did this another time and my excuse was "I got lost in the parking lot"

Yesterday, I decided to donate plasma because I was ridiculously poor and needed some cash. Also I was scheduled to work a double at work which started at 9am. Well I get to the plasma center promptly at 7am to find it packed. I fill out the donor thing and they check my veins and such. I'm told to sit down and wait for my name to be called. I find a sit next to an old man who looks like he got lost on his way to picadillys. 

8:34AM: I've managed to get my picture taken, finger marked, and be weighed. Also it was at this time a guy sits down next to me to and starts telling how he's been there since 4:30 (note: the place doesn't open until 7.) He's bald, missing some teeth, odd bruises on his arm and dressed like he wants to sell me a used car, but that's none of my concern.

9am: I'm due at work right now. I decide against my conscience to call in and tell them i'll be probably 30 minutes late. "Dat's fine"

About 9:35am, I'm dragged into an office and they take a blood sample and ask me if I've ever had sex with a man for money in Africa while afflicted with syphillis before 1977. I wonder how many people answer the question with yes.

10:45am: I am told to pee in a cup and then given a physical which involves listening to my heart and asking yet again if I've ever had sex with a man before 1977 while injecting myself with intravenous drugs. 

11:00. I am now offically 2 hours late for work and they've called me 3 times. I choose to let them linger in suspense rather than call. I'm hooked up to the machine by a girl I went to elementary school with which makes the occasion a little more strange to me. It takes an hour and 15 minutes for them to extract what looks like a 16oz bottle of pee out of my blood. 

I'm paid 50 bucks for my trouble and I'm pretty sure I've managed to loose my job in the process. I decide at 12:20 to call and tell them to ask if I should come in or not. I'm told to just come in when my next shift starts. At this point, I'm rather excited at the notion I may finally be chewed out for not coming to work at all this morning. 

I walk into work and I see Yedullah who looks hella pissed. I start to open my section up and he walks over and starts laughing. Jesus Christ. He laughs and asks me what happened I tell him that I went to give plasma for money to which he laughs again and tells me how all of them thought I was just too hungover to come to work that morning. This was quite untrue as I did not drink the night before. I really don't know what I have to do to get them to freak out and fire me or something. 

Shit, last weekend I was walking around the kitchen with a cardboard suit of armor I constructed out of boredom wielding a giant metal roller I found.

The end.

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